Christmas carol parodies and more
December 23, 2022
In keeping with longstanding tradition, here are the annual Christmas carol golf parodies.
Versions of these song spoofs have appeared in this column’s previous Christmas editions.
I hope you enjoy them.
Best wishes to you and yours for the holiday season!
AWAY IN A BUNKER
(As sung to “Away in a Manger”)
Away in a bunker,
The little ball lay.
My tee shot went wide right,
Bad words did I say.
I looked at that golf ball
down where it did lay,
It looked like a fried egg.
A safe shot? “No way.”
The caddie was laughing,
My partners just smiled.
They knew that my trap shots
Were weak or too wild.
I swung with my sand wedge
The sand it did fly
The ball popped up also,
And rolled by my side.
I need some real guidance,
I need some help quick.
I can’t play this shot, so
I’m writing St. Nick.
WE THE CLUBS OF TITLEIST ARE
(As sung to “We Three Kings of Orient Are”)
We the clubs of Titleist are,
You will hit our Drivers so far,
Many lofts for you to choose from,
Following “Golf Talk Live.”
CHORUS:
Oh, clubs of wonder, clubs of might,
Clubs with special features bright,
Selling hope for our next tee shot,
Guide us to the perfect drive.
CLUB PROS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH
(As sung to “Angels we have heard on high”)
Club pros we have heard on high,
Shouting loudly o’er the range
And their students in reply,
Harken to their anxious strains.
CHORUS:
Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I’ll watch the ball for you.
Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I will watch the ball for you.
THE PRO SHOP
(As sung to “Silver Bells”)
See the pro shop,
Busy golf shop,
Decked in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.
Golfers laughing, players putting,
Buying clubs with a smile.
And at ev’ry sales counter you hear:
CHORUS:
Silver bells, silver bells,
It’s Christmas time in the pro shop.
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring,
Cash registers sing all day.
PUTTING WOES
(As sung to “Silent Night”)
Putt-ing woes! Putt-ing woes!
All’s not calm, All’s not bright.
After three putts missed
I’m fit to be tied,
The first two went short and
The last one just wide.
Make this fourth putt, oh please, please
Ma-ke this fo-urth putt, please.
HERE WE GO A-GOLF-ING
(As sung to “Here we come a-caroling”)
Here we go a-golf-ing
Among the fairways green;
Here we go a-wandering,
No bad shots to be seen:
CHORUS:
Love and joy come to you,
And to you fun golfing too;
And God bless you and
Send you a happy New Year,
And God send you a happy New Year.
Ebersole wins FlingGolf POY honors
Congratulations to Austin Ebersole for his recent designation as a co-winner of World League FlingGolf’s 2022 Player of the Year Award.
The head golf pro at American Classic Golf Club was joined by Ken Pytluk of Colorado, who won the ESPN-televised FlingGolf tournament at ACGC in May. Ebersole won the season-ending Championship final in Virginia in October.
Ebersole said, “It’s an honor to be named WLF Co-Player of the Year. This is an awesome moment, and I’m extremely thankful to win this award.”
Last minute gift ideas
If you’re still stuck for Christmas gift ideas, consider a donation to The Salute Military Golf Association (SMGA) or The First Tee of Delaware.
The SMGA supports rehabilitative programs and family-inclusive golf opportunities for post-9/11 wounded war veterans, including those afflicted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Traumatic Brain Injury.
Donation opportunities include in-kind gifts of lightly used golf equipment, auction items for its fundraising events, and both mail and online donations. For more information go to smga.org or call 301-500-7449.
Delaware’s First Tee chapter serves thousands of children throughout the state. Using golf, its rules, its standards, and its culture, First Tee helps instill core values and healthy life habits such as honesty, integrity, responsibility, and judgment.
To make a tax-deductible donation to First Tee of Delaware, call 302-384-8759 or go to www.thefirstteedelaware.org.