How to Hit the Second Shot First: Blue and Bawdy Jokes that Unlock the Puzzle of the Green
During last spring’s golf trip with the gang, our foursome caught ourselves repeating some of the usual clichéd responses to the wayward drives, dribbled approaches, and foozled chips and putts that filled our scorecards.
About half-way through the round, I suggested we should change the way we teased each other.
Instead of repeating “Nice putt, Alice” or some other time-worn reaction, we should just assign a number to each phrase, and just call out the number instead, such as a happy-for-them “22!” or a softly muttered, seemingly sympathetic “37, eh?”
The rest of the group readily agreed. Soon thereafter, other nearby golfers began looking our way as they heard us yell out “17” or “43” or “58”.
Maybe you had to be there, but we enjoyed it.
While reading Jim Bronner and Bob Gilhooley’s collection of golf jokes and stories, I remembered this recent episode. Their book could benefit from the same numbering system.
I’ve been golfing for a bit more than twenty years, and I can safely say that I have either heard or told over 90 per cent of what’s in this collection.
Some are like old friends you haven’t heard from in a while. As soon as you hear the first few words, all the old memories come back of when you first heard the joke or told it yourself to an appreciative audience.
Some are far less familiar, and need a little more reading before you remember that you heard this one before.
Others are brand-new, and should be a pleasant addition for your next top-this-one competition with your regular foursome.
Most are not repeatable here; not so much because of copyright issues, but because this is a family-friendly golf site.
As a sociological matter, parts of the collection show that a lot of male golfers may have, as they say, some issues with their spouses. The number of jokes centering around adultery, cuckoldry, or the untimely demise of a marriage partner may signal something more than the usual use of humor to discuss taboo subjects.
The book’s title refers to an odd little addition to the compilation. At various times certain words are highlighted in bold text. The reader is urged to combine the highlighted words into a blank form at the back of the book, and thereby learn the “secret” of successful golf.
For the impatient among us, there is an alternative approach to solving the puzzle, but it’s hard for me to recommend this feature as a reason to buy the book.
Instead, buy this as a gift for a fellow golfer who not be easily offended by sophomoric, bawdy jokes. This should be something you know about him because he’s told you many of these same tales.
The book probably won’t be found in a treasured spot in the family library, but it may make an appearance in the trunk of his car or in his locker at the club. Either way, he’ll appreciate it.
Review date: June 3, 2006